英語
高校生

英検の英作文添削をお願いします。
1行5語に合わせたり、削ったりしているので、段落や空間等は気にせずに添削をして頂きたいです。

I don't think scare people's salaries should be based on their job performance. I have two reasons. In the first place, It should be changed from their performance to age. As they get older, many people will have their family, so they need a lot. of money. If their salavies base on age, they can live in peace. In the Second place, some people don't have the skills. For example, people who have disability may not have enough skills. If their salaries be based on r their age, they can't get enough money. Last of all I think people's salaries had better be based on their age. It has a lot of benefit than being based on their job performance. Mary people can live in peace
.Write an essay on the given TOPIC. • Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer. • Write your essay in the space provided on Side B of your Suggested length: 120-150 words wwriting outside the space will not be graded. answer sheet. ● ● ● ● TOPIC Should people's salaries be based on their job performance? Any POINTS • Age Company profits Clo • Motivation Go fishin E4M Skills aasvinb 15900l on SH I bonisqen gnied ai ai S 2. One oftlospas 2 lapidsen ailel varl of asalil all S son ai all & DI VIDW ảnh l arom vo bailileup s yabrsizsy 19genem sai liss of jogol sH S bibruso natho TI bib pigenipidly cedr bazkim SHA theq ob dotem toa 250b il S 22年度第1回 S.OM €.oM

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